“I can’t stop my thoughts!” I hear this all the time. No, you cannot stop the thoughts – that is the nature of the conscious mind. It’s the critical mind; the ego mind. It’s the nature of the conscious mind to comment and analyze. What is more important, is where you put your focus.
In your usual waking, active states it’s a true revelation when you realize that you are in control of your thinking process, and you get to choose the thoughts and the quality of the thoughts. And it’s then that you truly can embrace yourself as a powerful creator.
You are in control of your thinking. So which program do you choose? Do you choose the negative programs which give rise to pain, illness and suffering or do you tap into the positive program, which gives rise to balance, alignment and health?
You have a choice, and that may come as a shock to most people. We are not victims to our thoughts. We all deserve to live a happy life, and to be valued. All it takes is a little focus and perseverance.
Many people believe that in order to be a better person then they must criticize themselves to move forward. This is a false assumption. Instead, finding love, peace and acceptance within ourselves is the key. When we stop identifying with those negative thoughts and step away from drama is when we are able to reconnect with the core of our being, and we realize that we are positive person at heart. This is why reminding yourself of this over and over is significant to rewire your nervous system.
So why do we have to repeatedly reinforce things? NEURO SCIENCE tells us that the brain has the chance to form new neural pathways as something is learned.
When new connections are made in the brain this is termed, ‘Neural Plasticity’. Similarly when the brain doesn’t use the old habitual patterning, those old connections break and are no longer ‘fired off’. The more often the positive programs are reinforced and the less those connections for negative programs are stimulated, the old pathways eventually become obsolete. This is what is termed ‘Cortical Networking’.
- WATCH YOUR SELF TALK
When clients come into my practice, I can see how quickly a person’s situation can change when they reinforce the positive stuff every day. Their health improves, they feel better, they communicate better, they have more innate confidence, and better relationships with others. But these are the people that are willing to change. You have to be willing to override the negative software. And that takes a little effort and awareness in the beginning until it becomes habit.
Initially clients report back that it feels a bit ‘contrived’ when they are saying these positive words or trying to conjure the feelings of positivity. In the beginning it can feel unnatural to do so, especially when criticism of self has been the habit. The more a person is vigilant with ‘catching themselves out’ when using the old demeaning self-talk then transforming into positive reinforcement, the more it becomes habit, and that person begins to appreciate and respect the power behind the words. Eventually those words/thoughts become the BELIEFS – the empowering positive software, humming along as it was intended.
Start to become aware of what you habitually say to yourself. What is your SELF TALK? Perhaps take a moment to write down what you catch yourself saying, then flip it around to a positive comment. For example, “I will never amount to anything” could be turned around to “I am a valuable person who is worthy of love and success in life”
I would say that finding a way to ‘step out of your habitual thinking’ is necessary to ‘reset’ the conscious mind’s programs. Coming to a hypnosis session is ideal, or meditating or walking in nature. Something that breaks habit with one’s usual patterning.
- KIND WORDS UPON WAKING
Just as you’re waking up and aware of your body in the bed, is a really perfect time for positive program reinforcement. It’s when our mind is receptive. This is the time to say something kind to yourself upon waking.
During the dark days of depression, I would typically wake each morning and walk into the bathroom, take a glimpse of myself in the mirror and say something to the effect, “Oh you look like something the cat dragged in.”
To myself, this seemed like an amusing thing to say, and I just thought I was being honest. But first thing in the morning, it was not a very empowering dialogue. Those comments would set the tone for my day, and put in motion the negative tsunami of feelings that would follow.
Once I learned about the repercussions of negative thinking, I knew that I had to choose differently.
What do YOU typically say to yourself? Maybe it’s a feeling of overwhelm or anxiety about the pending events of the day that are the catalyst for the barrage of thoughts.
How about trying something different? Before you even get out of bed, lay there for a moment, take a few conscious breaths, be aware of your body and say to yourself something nice and uplifting. Here are some examples:
- “I choose only positive thoughts, and choose to perpetuate only positive feelings”
- “I choose to love myself”
- “I am in control of my thinking”
- “I am a river of peace, happiness and abundance”
- “I am positive and optimistic”
- “I get to choose how I feel”
- “Today, I create peace”
- “I am in tune with life”
- “I have all that I need within me”.
Conduct the experiment, and remind yourself with a little post-it note near your bed as you reach to switch off the alarm. In the beginning, especially, it’s good to have something to trigger yourself into remembering. And what makes these words even more powerful, is to connect with a positive emotion as you’re repeating them in your mind or out aloud. Start with this as your template for the day.
- THAT’S NOT MY THOUGHT
During the day, and whenever you ‘catch’ yourself entertaining the negative thoughts, stop and say “That’s not my thought. I get to control my thoughts, and I choose only positive ones”. You can repeat a few of those I mentioned earlier – those that really resonate for you. Let that be your practice forever more. Take action, it’s just a matter of creating new and good habits. You can make that your homework every day if you want to. IT’S ALL UP TO YOU.
- PRACTICE GRATITUDE
In this way, you can come to appreciate your own power. YOU become the orchestrator of your life. You have everything within you to handle any situation. You can trust yourself, and be grateful for this life, for this experience.
Just take a moment to contemplate what you are grateful for.
Your children. Your family. Friends. Grateful that your eyes can see the sunsets over the ocean; that your fingers can touch the smooth warm skin of your baby; that your ears can hear the exquisite notes in the early morning bird song.
Feel those feelings and know that this is a process that you can take yourself through to increase your frequency of body and mind.
When you do so, you create those feel-good hormones and your immunity is boosted. You start to appreciate life and begin to feel more positive about it.
- STEP OUT OF YOUR HABIT-SELF
Just as important is physical exercise in your daily routine, so is your mental and emotional practice as you go about your daily routine. You can’t separate body from mind and emotion anyway, so take it onboard as a holistic exercise regime to complement all facets of yourself.
There are so many ways that you can step-out of the habitual mind and change your state –
- Meditation is a great way to calm and soothe body and mind. There are so many different ways to meditate with so many different opinions about how to do it. Basically, meditation is a way of focusing with an intent to find peace. Your focus could be your breath, a candle, the soundscape around you, a mantra, a deity, the sensations that come and go in the body…there are thousands of ways to enter. For anyone beginning, you could try using an app with thousands of guided meditations. There’s a great one called Insight Timer, and I would recommend finding one with a voice and a technique that resonates with you.
- Going for a walk/run in nature changes our state
- Taking a dip in the ocean can be like being reborn
- Having a massage or floating in a float tank allows us to feel the bliss of weightlessness
- Taking a Yoga class brings focus and resilience
- Being guided into hypnosis with a practitioner in person, or through using an audio track can RESET the mind. Another way is by learning Self Hypnosis. This is what I use everyday.
Being guided into hypnosis is wonderful to reset the habit mind. Making an appointment with a hypnotist is ideal, but you can be guided into hypnosis through an audio track. Listening as you’re going off to sleep is perfect. You can go here to download and listen to a selection of hypnosis audio files…
Even better is learning Self Hypnosis. Then you’re able to navigate your own mind, anytime you want.
WANT TO GO DEEPER? Find out how you can access the spiritual realms through hypnosis.